On another note, head judge Tom Colicchio has been put on the defensive of late because of the season finale outcome, telling People magazine, “If I had to do it all over again, reading what I’m reading, I’d still say Hosea wins. Tom Colicchio: How could your enjoyment impart enjoyment-īe sure to check out our Mystery Science Photo animated episode with Top Chef Season 5 contestant Melissa Harrison! So my thing was, I’m just going to send out some Love with this stuff I’m giving you. At that point, it really wouldn’t help the diners if I was in a bad mood. “It was the bland leading the bland.” – Toby Young on Eugene’s daikon fettuciniĬarla: I knew my dishes were going south. “Oh man! Did you see Stefan not making out with Leah on the couch? I soooo saw it!” – Hosea on making out with another contestant “I have found that the best method of preparing wounds is to rub a little salt in them.” – Stefan LOOOOOOK AT USSSS!!!” – Melissa Harrison’s bangs and eyebrows “Look at us!! Pay no attention to the voices or the food. I can’t believe that isn’t happening! I can’t believe he didn’t win! This is the happiest day of my life!!” (sobbing) – Hosea on winning Season 5 of Top Chef I prayed for something not to happen and he answered my prayers. I proved them all wrong! Stefan losing is the the greatest accomplishment of my life!! I only hope that he can somehow continue not living up to your expectations. This is for all those people that said he could do it. “First off, I want to say it is such an honor that Stefan didn’t win. I can’t help it if the judges can’t recognize perfection.” – Jeff McInnis every week “Braised celery?!?! Ahhh hell!” – Jamie Lauren just before cooking up a batch of brown salt stalks Best damn thing I have ever eaten in my life or any one else’s!” – Judges’ Panel on Carla’s mysteriously orgasmic spoon o’ peas. “OMFG!! These peas are like little green angel tear drops!” “I agree!” “Oh definitely. “This is Top Chef, not Top Scallop.” – Fabio “Hootie Hoo!” – Carla on life, the universe, and everything “Eh, whatever.” – Stefan on life, the universe, and everything “My car is a piece of…….poop” – Fabio Vivan on the hopes of winning a car “When I am faced with a beautiful, well-reared piece of meat, I don’t want to stand back and admire it, I want to have full-blown unprotected sex I didn’t even get to first base with the pork.” – The almost overly starcastic judge Toby Young “This is not a butt-rubbing contest.” – Stefan Richter during the finale Poor Carla was left at the Top Chef altar, slightly less teary eyed than the millions of Carla Hillions watching from home.Īnyway, as an ode to another successful season of a very well done reality show (one suggestion – show more of the cooking! Give us more details of what and why the contestants are doing, a-la Iron Chef) starcasm will offer the best quotes from Season 5 that we could gather – most of them real, but all of them accurate: Of course the meat was tough and the soufflé didn’t soufflé, so the judges weren’t able to vote with their hearts (or ours).
So, she rode the “simple-but-good” horse right up until the final episode when she opted to step outside of her comfort zone by taking the advice of her sous chef Casey Thompson, who suggested using the sous-vid method to cook the meat (stick it in a plastic bag in hot water) and also thought a soufflé would be a good idea. But, the chefro managed to not get eliminated long enough to realize the judges liked it when the contestants made very uncomplicated dishes that tasted good. Season 5 of Top Chef was yet another fun season of conniving, surviving and “pack your kniving” that resulted in the launch of yet another funky-haired reality show celebrity – the muppet-esque Carla Hill.Īt the beginning of the season Carla spewed forth apologies for this error and that error, and it seemed as though Wolfgang Puckwheat was gonna be just another flash in the frying pan.
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